so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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