I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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