forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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