Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
That's intense
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
