Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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