yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
