Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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