Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
