You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize