I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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