Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize