yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
