is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
