there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
