I want to make a zoo with you.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
