she woke up with a sticky ear
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
