If i could tip my vagina, i would.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
