the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize