I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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