he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The beer is more important than you right now.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Randomize
