I murdered the dance floor call the cops
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
