What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
