it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
