if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
