i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
