i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
