Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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