so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
