I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i believe in u and ur pee
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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