Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
