My room smells like vodka and shame
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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