It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I touched a dick in church today
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
