dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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