We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
