I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just took my morning after pill in the library
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize