Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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