He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
