Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
