Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
