oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
