their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
