When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
wow bdsm is so cute
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
