he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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