My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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