My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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