Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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