she kept yelling 'call me bella'
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
