my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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