going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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