can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
