how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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