I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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