1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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