you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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