**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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