You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
