Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize