My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
