I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
