Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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